It’s christmas time and there’s a great need to be afraid. Yep, that’s right, decorations are up and the annual exponential rise in customers has started. The stock is piling up; boxes and boxes of shit which no one would ever buy if they weren’t trying to get their whole christmas shopping list done on one day and in one shop.
Yet another little box of address books and journals which are too tiny to use, so will sit on someone’s shelf for half the year before they remember they have it.
The coffee-table book of ‘beautiful pigs’ which will go straight to the bottom-right section of the bookshelf, where you store your old school yearbooks and all the endless Anne Geddes books of creepy babies dressed as elves etc.
The jokey-retro ‘I’m a bitch’ calendar, the one that you’ll put on your desk and forget to rip any pages off, which you will throw out in August, the date still reading ‘January 24th.’
But what really scares me is the fact that this christmas, three biographies have really jumped out at me as clealry having been released for the ‘primary gifting period.’
The Journey by Tony Blair
Decision Points by George Bush
Lazarus Rising by John Howard
Three no doubt ghosted books (apparently The Journey is excrutiatingly badly written) which will attempt to create a mixture of a healthy ability to poke fun at themselves, long mournful chapters about their terrible suffering and tracts of self-pitying crap which tries to justify their actions. Also so far both ‘Decision Points’ and ‘The Journey’ cost $75.00.
That’s pretty pricey, so I was thinking that for anyone wanting to read these fine works of political biography *cough*, this might be an idea: