05.05.14

In reaction to Lorde’s tweets about a scumbag paparazzo, the wonderful Ally Garret wrote this blog which is worth a read. Also from The Wireless is this interesting piece by Scarlett Cayford about ‘selfish politics’ and political apathy.

In nerdy things, tumblr user quantumspork has envisioned a glorious universe in which Natalie Dormer, Eva Green and Rebecca Hall play the Black sisters from Harry Potter and Kristin Scott Thomas plays their mother. I always see gifsets like this and then cry forever that it doesn’t exist in real life. Also Autostraddle is doing a series of posts on how to build a PC, which is so cool and extremely handy, as I am going to have to replace a motherboard with my own hands at some point soon.

Some absolutely glorious musical videos y’all need to see:

2Cellos covering ‘Thunderstruck’ by AC/DC… on cellos.

Postmodern Jukebox’s New Orleans Blues cover of ‘Sweet Child of Mine’ featuring Miche Braden absolutely KILLING IT.

And Katy Perry’s ‘Dark Horse’ sung in 20 different musical styles. Let me tell you, I lost my shit at The Doors.

Fun fact: that is the first time I ever heard Dark Horse. I am super behind on music now I’ve stopped listening to the radio. I hear 100% less bullshit from ridiculously offensive radio hosts, though so it’s worth it.

Judith Butler, one of my favourite thinkers, has given an extremely interesting interview with Transadvocate about her work on gender performativity and how it relates (and hasn’t in the past) to trans people. She admits in this interview that Gender Trouble did not consider trans issues and that this is a failing, while also calling out some well-known feminist thinkers who espouse transphobic rhetoric, which is a great step forward in the quest to make feminism a trans-inclusive movement. This is my favourite bit:

Sometimes there are ways to minimize the importance of gender in life, or to confuse gender categories so that they no longer have descriptive power. But other times gender can be very important to us, and some people really love the gender that they have claimed for themselves. If gender is eradicated, so too is an important domain of pleasure for many people. And others have a strong sense of self bound up with their genders, so to get rid of gender would be to shatter their self-hood. I think we have to accept a wide variety of positions on gender. Some want to be gender-free, but others want to be free really to be a gender that is crucial to who they are.

Judith Butler has also written about the politics of grievability and which casualties get to be named in global conflict and strife, so on that note, I’ll leave you with this: a list of names of the nearly 300 Nigerian girls who are still missing.

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Um, I don’t think that’s the lyric…

Whenever I listen to ‘The ballad of Lily, Rosemary and the Jack of Hearts’ (one of my favourite Dylan songs) I invariably get it stuck in my head. This generally means that I’m singing it constantly for at least 24 hours. When this happens, I get the lyrics mixed up.

Sometimes with hilarious consequences.

If you’ve never heard it, it’s immensely long with many verses, which means that the potential for mix-ups is far greater.

One of the lines is ” Rosemary combed her hair and took a carriage into town.” Bob, being Bob, slurs the ‘r’s in carriage so it sounds a little like ‘cabbage.’

Hilarious moment #1.

Another line is “Lily took her dress off, buried it away.”

So, if you ever hear me sing “Lily took her dress off and took a cabbage into town” that’s what I’ve done.

It has a nice ring to it though…

From Overheard Everywhere: Raps White People Like

Go here, for this:

At this particular time the regional legal decision-making body known as NWA has assembled to deliver judgement

His excellency Judge Dre has nominated himself as adjudicator in the matter of NWA versus the Police Department of Silverlake, Los Angeles.

For the prosecution, I present Emcee Ren, A small block of Ice and an easy failing grade in CIE level examinations.

If everyone would please calm themselves and resume their seats, a small block of Ice will present testimony.

Are you so inclined to speak no falsehood,

and only truth, lest the lord take your African-American posterior and strike it down?

Would it please you to tell all assembled the matters you have taken grievance against?

I am upset with authority.

I am informing you of this knowledge from a place generally considered to be outside standard jurisdiction.

I believe an element of race to be causing these issues.

I am not of the same racial background as my fellow man,

And the police department of Silverlake, Los Angeles has taken it upon themselves to exercise lawful termination of myself and otherwise within my social strata regardless of cause.

I am not overly pleased with this, I am not, to my knowledge,

The appropriate person who may or may not be engaged in illicit night-time careers, and / or engage in conduct with a person from whom life has emerged, regardless of their symbol of employment within the police department of Silverlake, Los Angeles or their rifle,

To be violently struck, with intention, only to be held in contempt of civic authority.

I believe this aggressors would react differently should we be placed on equal terms, perhaps upon meeting in a detention centre.

I believe their issue stems largely from my youth,

which they believe is asynchronous to my possession of symbols of wealth and status.

An illegal search and seizure was attempted on my automobile,

Stemming from an incorrect belief that everyone of similar appearance to me deals in opiates.

The common approved view of individuals such as myself is that we belong in correctional facilities,

Not expensive automobiles such as I was driving the night the incident occurred, to which my colleague Lorenzo can attest.

Grievous bodily harm might occur if this happens in future,

At the end of which, clear demarcation of the scene is necessary

To identity the event which has occurred at that position.

I believe the injured party will have difficulty with consumption of food and beverage.

I am not sure if Kraft-Ebbing’s late nineteenth century term ‘Homosexual’ is an accurate description of the police department of Silverlake, Los Angeles,

But law-contrary searches have suggested this to me in intimate detail.

It is my view that without semiotic markers of violence, these individuals are without sexual congress.

If by chance the officers present happen to be of mixed race,

The violence inherent in the situation may escalate,

With expressions of solidarity provided on behalf of the minority attendant.

A small bock of ice will appear en masse,

Should any person of illicit conduct with a life-giver happen to festoon himself in garments of a cerulean or azure nature.

Purely because of my origin within West Hollywood, these men (with inappropriate night jobs) are afeared of my visage.

I am a young person of coarse African descent on a path set out by generals of old,

At the end of which I imagine is only more violence.

I see visions of members of the police department of Silverlake, Los Angeles, being struck down before their time.

So, yes, Judge Dre. I do indeed have an issue with the accused.

I am upset with authority.

I am upset with authority.

I am upset with authority.

I am upset with authority.

And here for this:

You are perfectly aware that you harbour amorous affection towards me, and I am perfectly aware that you want to express them,

Raise your vocals to a greater height at any moment,and I shall endeavour to be at your side, unquestionably.

I am perfectly aware of my amorous affection for you. It is logical that I believe you to be the beating organ in my chest, then.

I am stalwart in my conviction that we shall not once in our lives part company.

You never informed me if our amorous nature was public. Woman, cease your games!

“My affection for you is simply platonic”. I cannot comprehend that statement!

You informed me such: “There is another” and caught my gaze with a stare that tames,

Prima-Affection, Prima-Disappointment!

And I expressed myself in these words: Infant Personage, Infant Personage, Infant Personage, I say

In these words: Infant Personage, Infant Personage, Infant Personage, I protest

In these words: Infant Personage, Infant Personage, Infant Personage, I say

I was of the persuasion that you were to become one of my possessions, my beloved possessions.

Infant Personage, Infant Personage, Infant Personage, I say

In these words: Infant Personage, Infant Personage, Infant Personage, I protest

In these words: Infant Personage, Infant Personage, Infant Personage, I say

I was of the persuasion that you were to become one of my possessions, my beloved possessions.

In your interest, my person would have assailed any task,

But I am afraid this surpasses comprehension.

I cannot remain stalwart, for you are exheunting such as liquid from a flask,

No object is unworthy if you wish it, nor any jeweled adornment beyond purchasisation.


I have come undone! Infant Personage bring your love glue gun to me,

And vigorously assail me until I awake from the phantasmic nightmare

My physical location is descending quickly,

I cannot comprehend that the recipient of my first expression of amorous intent will no longer fix me with her glare.

And I expressed myself in these words: Infant Personage, Infant Personage, Infant Personage, I say

In these words: Infant Personage, Infant Personage, Infant Personage, I protest

In these words: Infant Personage, Infant Personage, Infant Personage, I say

I was of the persuasion that you were to become one of my possessions, my beloved possessions.

And I expressed myself in these words: Infant Personage, Infant Personage, Infant Personage, I say

In these words: Infant Personage, Infant Personage, Infant Personage, I protest

In these words: Infant Personage, Infant Personage, Infant Personage, I say

I was of the persuasion that you were to become one of my possessions, my beloved possessions.

When I was but a young boy, I had my first expression of amorous intent

None in the land held a candle to my dear Infant Personage

Not one kept us apart whom would reach climax with you beneath them,

My mind I lost, as if a vice given up for Lent,

I was wakened readily, no need to purchase hot beverages in cafés in Stevenage.

My internal blood-pressure regulator lost pace,

It would stumbled upon glimpsing her visage,

In our place of education, during intervals,

I would like it very much if I could approach her outside that time without fear of mace

Her wonder was so complete it would baffle a corsage

My internal blood-pressure regulator has failed, but I say this despite issues medical:

Infant Personage, Infant Personage, Infant Personage, I say

In these words: Infant Personage, Infant Personage, Infant Personage, I protest

In these words: Infant Personage, Infant Personage, Infant Personage, I say

I was of the persuasion that you were to become one of my possessions, my beloved possessions.

Infant Personage, Infant Personage, Infant Personage, I say

In these words: Infant Personage, Infant Personage, Infant Personage, no

In these words: Infant Personage, Infant Personage, Infant Personage, I say

I was of the persuasion that you were to become one of my possessions, my beloved possessions.

I am left bereft

(I say, I say, I say)

(I say, I say, I say)

Now I am left bereft

(I say, I say, I say)

(I say, I say, I say)

Now I am left bereft

(I say, I say, I say)

(I say, I say, I say)

Now I am left bereft, in all understanding

I am left bereft.

Genius.  

Er’body in the club getting’ tipss….

I saw this:

Which is hilarious and it inspired me to create some of my own ‘white’ raps. ‘Cause that’s how I roll.

See if you can guess what songs they come from! (It’s a game, playas… I’ll stop now I promise).

All personages in the vicinity of this place of recreation and inebriation are imbibing alcoholic beverages and beginning to feel their effects on their systems.

And

I am a pleasant fellow, with some admirable aspirations, do you observe here these cubes of ice and additionally here, these frozen dairy products?

And

The authorities see me tootling along in my automobile and appear to look upon me with a derisive and suspicious manner. While patrolling their assigned streets they attempt to apprehend me while operating my vehicle in an illegal or immoral fashion.  

I’m pretty sure they’re off the heezy.

Overheard. On the Plane. And I’m still a little disturbed.

Okay, so I was on the plane. Boeing 737 800 for you plane geeks. Little entertainment centres on the backs of the chairs.

There was this woman in front of me who was taking advantage of the fabulous world of entertainment which Qantas offers to its customers. She was listening to the collected works of ABBA.

And singing.

Loudly.

I certainly didn’t mind, in fact my mother and I were singing along, as we have a little soft spot for ABBA. We were happily having a wee sing-song to ‘Knowing Me, Knowing You’ and discussing the merits of plane karaoke (it would be LEGENDARY) when weird singing lady turns around and says.

“I’m a singer in New Zealand.”

I nodded and smiled, with the possum-in-the-headlights look of someone who has encountered a crazy person in a confined space, with nowhere to run. She turned back around and I thought I was safe. My mum and I burst into silent laughter.

About ten minutes later, after the initial shock had worn off and we had returned to normality (well, as much normality as can be expected), she turned around again and handed me a CD.

She just happened to have one on her is what gets me. She carries around copies of her CDs for exactly this situation. Smart, I guess, we might have been on the board of directors for Tower Records.

It was a well made CD cover-insert-slip-thingy… considering it was probably made on Word 2003.

First track was ‘God of Nation.’ Second track was ‘Downtown’ by Petula Clark.

Think about it: “God de-fend New Ze-ea-laaaaand…” … “When you’re alone and life is making you lonely you can always go. DOWNTOWN.”

Weird.

Also she wasn’t a good singer at all.